Fvcking Perfect
by Moreorlez
Summary: Jenny and Emma facing the struggles of relationships and life. Jemma fic!
1. Love Fool

**A short Jemma fic. Because Jenny and Emma are so cute together! *.* Do I need another reason? Comments are welcome. Huge thanks to my beta Roxanne and her sidekick for doing this fic understandable :D**

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If there's something Jenny had learned in the past five years, it would be that life is unpredictable and it can go from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.

For example her music career started all good and promising then the "entertainment" world and fame led her to drugs. After recovery she started to feel like herself again. Then her parents sent her to Cologne, Germany which she felt was a punishment. There, Jenny found what she thought she never would; love. She found in Emma everything she was looking for in a person and after overcoming some up-and-downs they just fell for each other.

Then her parents died.

The demons of her parent's death, the responsibility of managing the enormous amount of money she inherited and her obsession for doing something her parents would have liked her to be, proved to be too much for her and of course it affected the relationship in ways they hadn't anticipated. She wasn't surprised when she and Emma broke up after 3 years. It's not like she didn't try; but apparently it wasn't enough, and if she was going to be completely honest, she herself was most at fault. Little by little they had drifted apart.

Emma did all she could to understand Jenny's mood changes, her constant 'generosity attacks' and even supported her sudden decision to study management instead of music as they previously planned. But after all she was only human and everybody has a limit, besides her own issues mixed with how tough college was didn't help in keeping the relationship alive.

They officially broke up after 3 years, but they did the traditional 'friends with benefits' thing that most ex's go through until it became unbearable. Jenny ended up going back to London. They kept in touch for a while via phone and email but with every passing day it was less frequent until they stopped communicating.

It sounds ironic but Jenny felt this time apart did something good for her. She had time to plan what to do after her studies in management had finished and she realized there was no point in dwelling over her parents death. They had loved her and made her a good woman, so she concluded the best way to honor their memory was to move on and be good at whatever she decided to do.

But most of all, Jenny understood Emma was the love of her life and she didn't want to waste any more time without her.

That led her here, back in Cologne after almost a year; waiting for Emma in the little coffee shop that was their favorite.

"Hey"

The sudden voice of Emma startled a distracted Jenny.

"Oh, Hey!" Jenny stood up but remained momentarily speechless at the vision of Emma.

Emma's beautiful hazel eyes still had the same hypnotic effect on Jenny, her blonde hair was longer and her sweet smile - although hesitant- was present. She had lost weight due to stress, something that had begun as soon as she started school; but without losing the curves Jenny loved so much.

When Jenny finally reacted her instincts moved her to hug Emma, she was nervous about the response of her former girlfriend but she did it anyway.

Luckily Emma not only returned the hug, but also breathed a sigh of relief. This reaction sent a shiver down Jenny's spine and she gulped trying to hide her emotion at the feeling of Emma in her arms. They both embraced in silence for a while basking in the scent and warmth of the other; eventually they pulled apart.

Smiling shyly but comfortably both took a seat and looked at each other.

"So, when did you arrive?" Emma started with the small talk.

"Oh just last night, Ben was nice enough to pick me up"

"But you should've told me I could've gone for you"

"Nah it's alright I'm staying at the Bergmann's anyway"

"You know you don't have to, you could just stay in the apartment, after all is yours"

At this Jenny lifted a brow sending her a look.

"I mean ours" Emma immediately corrected but couldn't help adding in a low voice "not willingly though"

"Emma…"

"Alright, alright sorry it's just… sorry"

"It's ok bad habits die hard, but I'm not here to relive the past, I actually have a proposition for you"

Emma looked at Jenny with a curious expression "a proposition?"

"Yes, I've been thinking about this for a while so just hear me out and then you can tell me how crazy I am"

Twenty minutes and two cappuccinos later Jenny explained everything related to her plan to Emma in detail, now she was just waiting for her to say something.

"Wow" Were Emma's first words "ok, you want to start a small music academy, here in Cologne for kids and you want me to be in charge?"

"Yeah I mean I can't think of a better way to spend my money on and I can't think of a better person to be in charge of"

"wow"

"I know it's a lot to take in so you just take your time and…"

"YES!"

"huh?"

"Yes, I accept the proposition, I want to help you in this crazy-good idea" Emma beamed.

Jenny stared at her completely taken aback about the answer. She didn't expect Emma to accept the challenge so easily but either way she was thankful.

"You won't regret it I swear, I know you and I can make this work"

"Yes of course, you just have to lead the way and I'll do my best to follow you" Emma couldn't contain her happiness "yay this is so exciting!"

Jenny smiled feeling the excitement too but it quickly disappeared. She had to move on to something that would be more difficult to grasp.

"Well uhm I also wanted to talk to you about something else"

"Oh ok, what is it?"

"I uh…" Jenny swallowed "I came back here to Germany not only for the project but for uhm…" despite her sudden nerves she was determined to let Emma know what she had in mind. Jenny wasn't the type to be shy about what she wanted and what she wanted was right in front of her "I came here for you too Emma. I want you back"

It was Emma's turn to be taken aback. Not that she has forgotten, but Jenny could be so straightforward sometimes; to the point of overwhelming Emma.

"Jenny I don't know"

"I promise you Emma I have changed and I'll do whatever is in my power to prove it to you, it doesn't matter how long it takes. It's not gonna be easy but at least give me a chance" Jenny stared at Emma with pleading eyes.

Emma was about to speak when something else came to her mind; then her confused expression morphed into one of anger.

"Wait a second; did you just invite me to this project so you could be close to me? Did you really think you could buy me Jenny?"

"What?! Of course not, I…"

"Gosh you're unbelievable!" Emma stood up ready to leave.

"You stop right there!"

Jenny almost screamed in a way Emma never heard before. That caused the blonde to freeze in place with eyes wide open.

"I... I'm sorry" Jenny takes a breath before she continued "I didn't mean to scare you it's just…" she sighed "you can really shut me out and make your own assumptions without letting me explain; would just let me explain?"

Emma, still in shock, managed to nod slowly and sat back in the chair.

Jenny closed her eyes, exhaled and proceeded to calmly express herself "Emma I don't wanna get back to what we were before, where I would push you away and you would judge me; fighting all the time; I really really don't want that and I'm sure you don't either. I wanna believe we both have grown up all this time apart and are capable to have a civilized conversation"

"Yeah, of course I'm sorry" Emma lowers her head in embarrassment. "Please continue"

"Ok" Jenny cleared her throat "the project of the music academy has been roaming in my mind for far too long Emma, so it has really nothing to do with you. It has more to do with STAG; but nevermind. The thing is when the idea really started to look like a real possibility, the first name that came to me was yours; not because of our past or whatever; but because I think you'll be a great teacher. Well, I know you're technically one already, what I'm talking about here is how passionate you are with everything related to music. How patient you are with people, your sensitivity, your talent all that comes naturally to you." She stared at the blonde and took her hands "I've never seen those qualities in any person I've ever met, not even when I was in the music business. Emma, I really want my music academy to succeed, to be the best it can; and I honestly believe that the only way I can achieve that is having you in charge. I can't picture myself doing this without you, please believe me"

Hearing those words coming from Jenny's mouth really meant a lot to Emma, she really felt in her heart Jenny was being honest; and she got a little bit emotional.

"Ok" she whispered.

"Ok?" jenny asked hopeful.

Emma, looking at their joined hands for a moment, replied now with more certainty "yes, I believe you, and I'll do it"

Jenny's face parted in a giant smile, her dimples flashing in all its glory.

Witnessing such display of beauty cause Emma to blush, so she had to look away and try to change the mood.

"But this doesn't mean that I'm… I'm not implying we…" the effect of Jenny still on her, made impossible for her to complete her sentence.

"Oh, of course not; don't worry I'm just really happy you're on board" Jenny reassured letting go of Emma's hand to prove her point, but giving a little squeeze before she did it.

"Whatever is going to happen, it'll happen. No string attached ok?" Emma added for good measure.

"Yeah totally got it, we'll just go with the flow"

"Right"

"Ok"

After a minute or so of uncomfortable silence Jenny decided to ask something she has been dying to know.

"So, I know I should've asked this before but … do you have a girlfriend? Are you dating someone?" She tried to sound casual.

Emma felt her heart skip a beat at the question. This wasn't a topic she wanted to discuss with Jenny; but they also promised to be mature so she answered anyway trying to get rid of the subject quickly.

"Uh well no, not at the moment. How about…"

"But you had, right?" Jenny pushed.

The hopeful expression on Jenny's face made Emma feel conflicted; she didn't want to hurt her but she didn't want to lie either.

"Well uh… I…" She started to get nervous, and nervous Emma wasn't always good. "I've… I've dated this girl for like, two months"

"Oh" Jenny seemed a little disappointed

"But it didn't work out!" Emma tried to mitigate the damage.

"Ok that's…"

"And there was Laura, but it didn't mean anything; she's a nice girl and all but we just had fun you know? Once in a while we would just do stuff like eating, dancing…"

"Fucking?"

At the sound of the harsh word Emma realized she had been rambling, a nervous habit that Jenny found cute most of the time, but Emma was sure that this wasn't one of those times.

"I… um…"

Jenny knew she shouldn't care, she shouldn't feel this way; but she couldn't help feel the jealousy take over her body. She closed her eyes and swallowed, remembering she was supposed to act in a mature way, not repeating the mistakes of the past.

"You know what? I shouldn't have said that; it's none of my business Emma you don't have to say anything"

Jenny was right; Emma didn't need to give any explanation to her. But still the guilt was consuming her.

"No Jenny, I know it's just that…" she sighed "I had to move on and… I mean come on, you have dated too, back in London right? I admit the idea is not appealing for me either but I understand, you…"

"As a matter of fact, no Emma, I haven't dated anyone"

"Wh-what?"

Jenny exhaled a little annoyed "I didn't have any girlfriend, no dates, nothing; and before you ask no, I didn't have sex either" She then took the glass of water and added "Well, that is if my hand doesn't count"

The last part was unnecessary, but being the little tease she always was, Jenny couldn't help herself.

And it was worth it, taking in Emma's huge eyes and open mouth.

As Jenny sipped her water, Emma's mind was still processing what she heard.

_Jenny hasn't dated anyone, for almost a year. Didn't sleep with anyone all that time, which means I'm the last person she has been with. I'm the last person who has kissed her, touch her… made love to her. _

The mere thought of being Jenny's last lover was doing things to her ego, to her body and soul. All of the feelings she thought were forgotten were coming back so fast that was beginning to scare her.

_Oh Jenny, Jenny what are you doing to me?_

"You there?"

"huh?"

Jenny almost laughed at how Emma had taken her comment. She wasn't sure exactly what was going on in her ex-girlfriend's mind but at least she got a reaction out of it, and that was enough for the moment. That meant she still had hope. So, now with the confidence that gave her a possibility to get back with Emma in the near future, she decided to take things slow and let things happen.

"Enough personal talk for the moment, we'll have time to go over this later on. Why don't we focus on coming up with ideas for the music academy"

Emma, still in a daze managed to answer "yeah ok, sounds good"

They spent the next hour discussing things related to the project, which brought them back to being comfortable around each other. Then when it was time to part ways, Emma extended to Jenny an invitation that she hoped was a good excuse to see each other soon.

"Oh by the way, what are you doing this Friday?"

"This Friday? Nothing really, why?"

"Well, since Hotte is coming back for a brief vacation and you are here, Luzi and I thought it would be a good idea to reunite the gang and remember good old times, what do you say?"

"Yeah, I'm in all the way! Maybe could be a chance to tell them about the academy so perhaps they can join us or give us some tips?"

"That's a great idea Jenny, this is gonna be so much fun!"

They smiled as they stood up together; Emma looked at the check briefly before glancing at Jenny.

"Let me guess, you're paying?" She said it in a playful tone.

Years before the simple act of paying a check would have arisen a monumental fight between them, but not today. Jenny detected Emma was just teasing her, and that she was fine with whatever she decided.

"I still have a lot of money to spend so yeah, what's a rich girl to do?" She replied with the same frisky tone, shrugging and rolling her eyes.

Emma laughed and slapped Jenny's arm.

They embraced goodbye, this time with more certainty and feeling at ease with each other.

"I'll see you on Friday then"

"Yeah, I'll be in touch with more details later, bye" Emma waved as she moved away.

Jenny waved back until Emma was out of sight. She then smiled to herself, thinking that everything was going to be alright from now on. Right?

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**Lets see when i'll post the second part... **


	2. Be Mine

**In this chapter, lots of STAG interaction. Tell me what you think =)**

***S****ong to accompany your reading: Whole Again - Atomic Kitten**

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At 8:10 pm a nervous Emma arrived at the Chinese restaurant where they all agreed to meet. She parked her still well taken cared of Honda Jazz; courtesy of Jenny, but remained inside for some minutes. Until this day she still feels a little annoyed when she looks at the car –her car in fact. Sooner or later she will get over it, Emma repeats to herself every day, and she really hopes so. Breathing a final breath of courage Emma descended from the vehicle and entered the place.

The first thing that Emma spotted upon passing the threshold was Jenny's face. It was very obvious that she had been staring at the door the whole time.

_Waiting for me?_ Emma thought. The sole idea brought a smile to her face, a smile that was mirrored by a shameless Jenny.

Under other circumstances Jenny probably would have looked away, pretending she wasn't as eager as she seemed, with her eyes glued to the entrance. But now, she was waiting for Emma and she couldn't care less how desperate she may look.

They kept staring at each other as Emma slowly approached the table.

Being some steps closer, Emma finally noticed the presence of Luzi, Timo and Ben. She shook her head, to erase the spell of Jenny from her mind and proceeded to greet her friends.

"And where is Hotte?" Emma asked as she took a seat.

"I don't know, he said he should be here any minute" Luzi answered with a shrug.

"Maybe he's…"

"Hi everyone!"

They all jumped in surprise at the sudden appearance of Hotte just behind them.

"You little…" Ben chastised his friend, before standing up and trapping him in a bear hug.

After a while and with their food already at the table, they were submerged in small talk.

"And how are the presentations going?" Jenny asked Luzi and Timo.

"Oh, just great! And now that we finished college we'll have more time to add dates to the schedule" Luzi explained excited.

"And once we have our diplomas we'll finally have the freedom to decide where we wanna go with the music" Timo added taking Luzi's hand in his.

"That's amazing guys, good for you!" Emma stated happily for her friends.

"Your music academy sounds like a good project to be involved in too" Timo said "tell us when you need some help, and I think I can speak for Luzi here ,when I say we'll be glad to support you guys, right babe?"

"Of course! I actually claim one spot as a teacher or at least a trainer" Luzi offered with confidence.

"You're hired!" Jenny exclaimed making everyone at the table laugh.

The minutes passed and they seemed to have a good time, getting reacquainted with one another.

"Oh and how about little Stefany?" Hotte asked Ben.

"Ah she's big and beautiful just like her mom" A proud Ben answered with a huge smile on his face.

"Thank God she looks like her mother!" Timo joked, earning a slap on his head by Ben.

As they continued to laugh and chat; Jenny and Emma didn't really talk much, but stole glances at each other, not even sure if they were being friendly or flirty; the reservations of their history still keeping them in check.

This of course, didn't go unnoticed by Luzi. It didn't take long for her to realize what was going on. She chuckled to herself and elbowed her boyfriend discreetly to gain his attention. Once she got it, she gestured toward Emma and Jenny with her head for him to see.

Timo looked at them curiously noting immediately what Luzi was trying to convey. He smirked returning his eyes to his girlfriend, raising his eyebrows to begin their usual conversation without words.

_And what do you have in mind?_

_I have a plan._

_Are you sure about this?_

_Yes, and it's going to be awesome. _

He shook his head and chuckled, patting Luzi's leg, and letting his smart girlfriend take over with whatever plan she had in that brain of hers.

And a plan she had.

After dinner was over, she suggested to the gang that a good way to remember good times was going to Karaoke. Obviously, everyone agreed and that's where they headed.

The mood was high with them, already going back to being those teenagers that were bonded by music.

The table was setup right in front of the stage, the drink orders were taken and Luzi suspiciously disappeared for a few minutes.

Suddenly, the Karaoke host announced that talented former singers of the STAG from Pestalozzi school were joining them for an impromptu presentation.

"Do they even know who we are?" Ben asked confused.

"I don't know, but it sounded important" Timo offered

"Who cares, I'll take it!" with that Hotte stood up and waved at people who were clapping.

Then Luzi reappeared with two microphones, one remained in her hand and she extended the other to Emma.

"Me? OK, what are we singing?"

Luzi flashed a conspiratorial smile "Whole Again from Atomic Kitten"

"Oh goody, I love that song"

"Great, you start then"

"OK"

As they took the stage, the first notes of the song blared in the Karaoke speakers.

Feeling it as natural as breathing Emma put the microphone close to her mouth and started singing.

**I**_**f you see me walking down the street**_

Luzi began to cough.

_**Staring at the sky and draggin' my two feet**_

Emma looked at her with concern but continued on.

_**You just passed me by it still makes me cry**_

The coughing persisted, so Luzi pointed at Jenny, for her to take the microphone; Jenny climbed the stage as quick as she could.  
_  
__**but you can make me whole again.**_

Jenny barely made it and caught the mic from Luzi, who threw it at her, just in time to sing her part.

_**if you see me with another man  
laughing and joking doing what I can,  
I won't put you down, 'cause I want you around,  
you can make me whole again.**_

Jenny and Emma were confused and a little embarrassed as it came to them, the meaning of the song and the lyrics they were about to intonate, at the same time.

_**Looking back on when we first met,  
I can not escape and I can not forget,  
Baby, you are the one  
You still turn me on,  
You can make me whole again.**_

In the four seconds that lasted from the transition between the chorus and the next verse, Emma gathered enough courage to look at Jenny and carry on with the lyrics.

_**Time is laying heavy on my heart  
Seems I've got too much of it since we've been apart,**_

The sparks were palpable from the second they sang the chorus, a fact that had Luzi, Timo, Ben and Hotte on the edge of their seats, eyes glued to the couple.

_**My friends make me smile…**_

They showed their contentment at this brief line, directed at them

… _**if only for while,**_

Well the gratification didn't last too long.

_**You can make me whole again.**_

The second time the chorus was chanted, Jenny and Emma were without a doubt dedicating it to each other, both were certain of it.

_**Looking back on when we first met,  
I can not escape and I can not forget,  
Baby, you are the one  
You still turn me on,  
You can make me whole again.**_

And that was the reason that led Jenny to claim the spoken part of the song, staring directly into Emma's eyes.

_**For now I'll have to wait,  
But, baby, if you change your mind don't be too late,  
'cause I just can't go on,  
It's already been too long,  
But you can make me whole again.  
**_  
By the third time, the public was really invested in the song; they even had their hands in the air and were moving side to side.

…**But you can make me whole again.**

The cheers and applause brought Jenny and Emma back to reality after the song ended. Both their faces flushed, as they shyly accepted the recognitions and returned to the table.

There's no way to describe the face Luzi was sporting at that moment; she was beyond pleased with her match-maker skills. Even Timo was impressed; he didn't think it would work so quickly.

Jenny and Emma were inseparable after that, being talkative and all smiles.

The rest of the time the Karaoke went without any incidents.

The new love atmosphere made Luzi and Timo do a corny rendition of "Stumblin' In" from Suzie Quatro; Ben for his part sang "With Arms Wide Open" from Creed – making a sly variation to the pronouns – and had Hotte record it, so it could be sent to Bea. Hotte interpreted a not very masculine version of "Du hast" from Rammstein, making everyone laugh.

As an end to a great reunion night, Ben proposed going to Chulos to party like they used to, so by 1 am they were making their appearance at the club.

They gathered at the bar while Ben ordered shots. When everyone had one in hand he raised his and proclaimed:

"For STAG the little group that brought us together and for our friendship to last forever"

"CHEERS!" They screamed at the same time and drank their shots in one gulp.

After that, Timo and Luzi took to the dance floor, Hotte and Ben decided to have some beers while Emma and Jenny moved to a corner to talk more privately.

"It's been a really good night huh? With the guys and all" Jenny began.

"Yeah, yeah with the guys… and all"

Both smiled broadly.

"I really wanna hear what else you have been up to Emma, how about if we meet I don't know, on Sunday so we can talk about us and maybe about the music academy"

"I'd love to Jenny"

They were openly flirting now and they were content with it.

In the distance Luzi observed their every move, letting her boyfriend know that everything went as planned.

Although it didn't remain that way for too long because twenty minutes later she stopped dancing abruptly.

"Oh no!" She exclaimed looking at Jenny and Emma.

"What?"

"No no no please don't…"

"Hey Lu, what's going…" A clueless Timo followed his girlfriend's gaze.

Jenny was laughing at something that Emma said when suddenly someone appeared right next to them.

"Em? Emma!" A girl jumped and hugged Emma with enthusiasm. "I thought I'd never find you here!"

Jenny just stared at the interaction between them genuinely intrigued…

"L-L-Laura"

…Until she heard the name. From that exact moment Jenny saw red. Now that she had a face to match, she couldn't stop the images of this Laura woman doing things to Emma, only she should be doing. And the hand of this woman on Emma's hip didn't help one bit.

"I've missed you so much, why didn't you answer my texts?" The green-eyed brunette kept talking completely ignoring Jenny.

Emma was in shock, she wanted to speak but nothing would come out.

Laura laughed shaking her head "don't do that! You know I can't resist you when you're all nervous and shy, come here" And with that she leaned in and kissed Emma's lips.

Jenny's jaw clenched with rage, she wanted to do something, to scream, to jump and stop the woman; but it wasn't her place, so instead of torturing herself with "what if's" she turned around and left the scene.

Luzi and Timo could only watch helplessly at a distance. As much as Luzi wanted to help, she knew this was something Emma had to deal with herself. She just had to wait and support her friend when the time arises.

Jenny arrived at the bar, ready to order the strongest drink she could think of, but something stopped her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, remembering all of the stupid things she did while submerged in alcohol. She could even visualize her parents and how disappointed they would be if they could see her now. Jenny ran a hand through her hair, willing herself to calm down.

_You are not that Jenny anymore; you're a mature woman, the daughter of __Rolf and Christine Hartmann and you're gonna make them proud. You're gonna act like a grown up and move on. _

She repeated it to herself and it actually helped.

By the time the bartender asked what she wanted, Jenny ordered water with ice, just to have something to hold onto and cool her.

Ben, who was now alone, was at the other end of the bar. He looked to the side and saw Jenny quietly sipping a drink, all by herself. He found it weird so he approached her.

"Hey, what are you doing here alone"

"Should I ask the same?"

"Oh, well Hotte was trying to impress some girls with his magic tricks and I think it worked cause now he's… there" Ben pointed at the dance floor where Hotte was surrounded by four pretty girls dancing sensually at him.

Jenny chuckled bitterly "at least someone is having a good time"

"What? I thought you were too?"

"Yeah I was" Jenny sighed and hesitated for a moment, but she felt she had to let it all out and proceeded to tell Ben what was going on.

At the other side of the Club, Emma was trying to find the right words to explain to Laura her situation without sounding like a jerk. The thing that finally made her snap and have the courage to clarify everything was the kiss. The moment she felt Laura's lips on hers, it felt wrong so wrong; that didn't happen before, not with Laura or the other girl. And that was enough for her to realize that it was because of Jenny. Jenny's return meant a lot more to her than she wanted to admit, she still had feelings for her and she would be damned if she at least didn't try to see where this would lead them.

"Emma, I don't understand what you are trying to say?"

Emma gulped and tried again "listen Laura, what you and I had was nice and we had a good time; and I'm sorry I didn't answer you back, that was so rude of me, but the truth is I'm still in love with my ex. I thought I could forget her but I couldn't and now she's here asking me for another chance and to be honest, I'm going to give her that chance. That's why I can't be with you anymore. I'm sorry"

Laura stared at Emma, and little by little every word she heard sank in as her expression changed to something that looked a lot like hurt.

"Oh wow I-I didn't know, I thought you and I…but that's-that's fine, I mean you…."

Emma felt like the biggest asshole in the world, it didn't occur to her – until that moment- that Laura had wanted to take things to the next level. It wasn't in her nature to hurt people and that made her feel terrible.

"Laura I don't know what else to say I'm really, really sorry"

"don't, don't say anything" To her credit, Laura managed to get a hold of her emotions and replied with dignity "I totally get it, it's fine I just… good luck Emma" she gave a final glance at the blonde and disappeared among the crowd.

And then, in a flash, Luzi was at Emma's side.

"Oh my God, I saw everything I'm so sorry"

"I don't know what I am gonna do! I screwed up"

"Uh… I'm gonna get us some drinks" Timo offered so he could leave the friends alone.

Luzi nodded and then returned her attention to Emma.

"Sweetie it was not your fault, there was no way you could have known Laura was going to be here… and was going to do that"

"I know, but I could have said something, I could have stopped her!" She shook her head in disbelieve "I could have at least acknowledged Jenny in front of Laura, to let her know there was something between us you know? Argh, I'm such an idiot!"

"OK, OK stop it" Luzi put a hand on Emma's shoulder "what's done is done so why don't you go and find Jenny and try to explain, maybe you can still fix it"

"You're right, I-I'll go talk to her"

Without thinking Emma searched for Jenny around Chulos until she spotted her at the bar with Ben.

"Jenny!" She said and waited for her to turn around.

"Um I think I'll go find Hotte" Ben politely excused himself although he was sure they didn't even hear him.

Jenny rolled her eyes and gave a long sigh before facing the blonde.

"Yes?"

"Jenny I want to apologize for what happened there, I had no idea she was going to be here I… I assure you that whatever happened between Laura and me it's over, I have no feelings for her, it was meaningless sex and that's all; it's never gonna happen again I swear"

The way Jenny was looking at her scared her a little, her expression was unreadable. The silence was killing her.

Finally, in what seemed like an eternity, Jenny cleared her throat and uttered in a suspiciously calmed tone.

"You know what Emma? I'm the one who wants to apologize"

"Huh?" Emma wasn't expecting that.

Jenny continued "remember that time, when you found out I slept with Ben?"

Emma's eyes opened at the memory and she swallowed, but didn't say anything.

"Then I followed you to the bathroom and tried to make you understand that it meant nothing, that having sex with him meant absolutely nothing to me. Do you remember that?" She pushed.

This time Emma had no choice but to give some sort of answer, so she nodded slowly.

"Well," Jenny carried on, this time showing some traces of anger in her features "I know exactly how you felt. You see, it shouldn't have mattered how many fucks it meant to me, the point there was how many fucks it meant to you; and to you it meant something. And it hurt, like a bitch right? So I'm sorry, I get it now."

"But Jenny…"

"Emma, I don't really want to talk about this anymore, it's not the right time or place. We came here to have fun and that's exactly what we should be doing so, if you excuse me…" Jenny stepped away, leaving a defeated Emma behind.

"Fuck!" Emma cursed, letting her head hit the counter.

"Can I get you something?" Sensing he was needed the bartender asked.

"Schnaps, please" was the muffled request.

"And?" the sudden voice of Luzi, made Emma lift her head.

"She hates me"

"What?"

"I hurt her, she hates me… I ruined it all Luzi; as usual"

Right then, the bartender served Emma her drink, which she swallowed like water.

She put the little cup back on the counter "another"

This time, Luzi didn't say anything else; she just patted her friend's back and joined Emma with her own drink.

The music wasn't bad, the company was good and the conversation was interesting but even with that Jenny couldn't find a way to actually have fun. All she had on her mind was how stupid her situation with Emma was and her inability to just let it be. She needed time to relax and think this through and maybe, with a clearer head she might come up with a way to bring down the imaginary walls setting them apart.

"Guys, I think I gotta go"

"Really? Can't you stay a little longer?" a tipsy Hotte practically begged.

"No, I'm not feeling well; but don't let me ruin your fun, you stay here and continue to celebrate"

"You sure?" Ben asked concerned and visibly tipsy too.

"Yeah, yeah I'm gonna call a cab, don't worry. Have a couple more for me" She gave her friends her thumbs up and they cheered gulping more of their beers.

Jenny shook her head as she walked to the door, when her eyes involuntarily moved to the bar.

"You gotta be kidding me" she muttered at the scene displayed not so far away.

Emma, completely drunk, barely maintaining her balance, with Luzi and Timo helping in the process.

"Shit!" Jenny had milliseconds to decide her next move, and ultimately chose to approach the trio.

"What's going on here? Emma, are you OK? Is she OK?"

Before Luzi or Timo had the chance to speak Emma blurted out.

"JENNY! YOU'RE HERE!" She hugged Jenny.

The strong smell of alcohol coming from Emma had Jenny cringing.

"Please don't hate me; tell her not to hate me!" Emma slurred, facing Luzi but still in Jenny's arms.

"Uh…" Luzi took Emma's arms and pulled her from Jenny's hold "sorry about that"

Timo helped to stabilize her. "I think we should get her home, she's… not in good shape" He stated the obvious.

Jenny sighed taking in the state of Emma; not able to help feeling guilty.

"No guys you should stay, I'll take her, either way I think this is kinda my fault"

Again, when the couple wanted to respond, Emma beat them to it.

"Shhh" she covered Jenny's mouth with her hands "it's not your fault its mine for being so…" Emma pouted and hugged her again. "Forgive me"

Luzi rolled her eyes and added "no it's fine Jenny, you don't have to put up with this"

"Seriously Luzi I got her" Jenny insisted "besides we must have a very important conversation…" She glanced down at Emma's head in her chest "… as soon as she's sober"

Luzi and Timo looked at each other and were in silent agreement.

"OK, you take her; let me know when you get there alright?" Luzi conceded.

"Sure, I'll text; have fun"

Jenny slowly walked Emma to the door, hoping they could work out their issues. Praying for a healthy relationship, for honesty, for maturity.…

"Oooh I missed your dimple, its sooo cute!" Emma sunk her finger in Jenny's right dimple.

…and for patience.


	3. Fucking Perfect

**Ok here's the last chapter. I want to thank all of you for reading my little fic and for your comments. Let's hope I 'see you' soon with a new Jemma story. **

* * *

The ride to Emma's place wasn't long, and Emma behaved surprisingly well in the cab even in her state; a fact that Jenny was thankful for. She couldn't imagine discussing her personal life with the driver there, if Emma started babbling or crying.

Getting inside the apartment was another story though. It wasn't as easy as Jenny thought it would be to take the keys out of Emma's pocket; it took some persistence, begging and even some running. And still when she finally got the keys in her hands, Emma wouldn't let her unlock the apartment door with all the pushing and swatting. It wasn't the best time for Emma to regain her balance; so yeah, patience.

When the door finally opened; Jenny stepped inside, she looked behind her at Emma who after coming in, closed the door and leaned against it.

Even in the darkness Jenny could feel the familiarity the place transmitted, she closed her eyes and took it all in. She then hung the keys in the usual spot and was about to turn on the lights when Emma's hand got her arm and pulled her toward her body.

"Alone at last" Emma whispered with a cute drunk smirk, as she wrapped her arms around Jenny's neck.

"Oh...uh…" it took only milliseconds for Jenny to realize she was flushed against Emma's body.

Chest to chest, nose to nose, lips so close.

Emma moved forward, aiming directly to Jenny's lips.

"OK…" Jenny turned her face to the side just in time, receiving a sloppy kiss on her cheek. "Emma, I don't think this is a good idea" She tried to push herself away from the embrace; her hands on each side of Emma's head, at the door.

"Why not?" Emma replied not letting Jenny go.

"You're drunk" Jenny tried to reason.

Emma chuckled "that never stopped you before" she got close to Jenny's ear "if I recall correctly we christened this very apartment after having way too many drinks."

Jenny swallowed, of course she remembered; especially when she was better at holding her liquor. But she couldn't say that, instead she tried to dismiss it "Tho-those were other times"

"Other times?" Emma leaned back while looking at Jenny's face.

"Yeah well, we were together then" a good point, Jenny thought.

But Emma only snorted "OK, that didn't stop you in the past either"

"Emma…"

"Jenny…"

With an exasperated –and nervous – sigh Jenny attempted to remove herself from Emma's embrace again but it was in vain, the blonde only pressed harder.

"This is not right, you…"

Again, the blonde leaned into Jenny's ear cutting her mid-sentence "I know you want this; I see it in your eyes"

It was becoming hard for Jenny to come up with excuses not to let herself go. More so when her senses were invaded by Emma's warmth and smell.

"We can't…we shouldn't…" her voice quivered.

"Why so shy huh?" Emma traced Jenny's earlobe with her tongue "How can the same Jenny Hartman who taught me everything that is to know about sex become suddenly shy?"

"Shit" Jenny's breath hitched

"The woman who had me in my own bed, with my parents next door" Emma now kissed Jenny's neck "who drove me so crazy that she induced me to touch myself for the first time…"

"Em…" Jenny moaned, her will crumbling.

"…the one who took my virginity"

Upon hearing those words, Jenny's knees buckled, her hands finding Emma's hips for support "oh my God" She held herself there, her breathing raged.

Emma looked up; staring at Jenny's eyes "Jenny, please just…" She remained quiet for some seconds, waiting for Jenny to say something. When she didn't, Emma closed her eyes and threw her head back, hitting the door. "…Just fucking take me"

At that moment, Jenny wasn't sure if it was because of the lack of sex from her part or her desire for the blonde; but the image of Emma with her head thrown back like that, her lips pouting and whining like a puppy, made her lose all determination.

_Fuck it!_

And just like that she jumped to Emma's lips, kissing her hard.

It all became a hot mess after that. Hands grabbing every body part they could grasp, mouths devouring lips and necks, hot breaths and pants.

The desire escalated very quickly and soon their bodies were demanding more than just kisses.

Jenny was first to take the initiative, she grabbed Emma by the waist- never stopping their kisses- and guided her to a well-known path for both of them; leaving pieces of clothing along the way.

By the time they reached the foot of the bed they were already in their underwear.

Without any reluctance, they fell into bed; Emma landing on her back.

Taking advantage of her position on top, Jenny quickly removed the remainder of her own clothes. Once she was fully naked she proceeded to peel Emma of hers too, and when she was about to remove Emma's briefs Jenny realized she was shaking. She stopped and watched her trembling hands becoming aware that she had never in her life felt a desire so intense that her body would literally tremble.

_What's going on with me? _Jenny thought suddenly scared.

Hesitation started to make its appearance into her consciousness, but a brief gaze at Emma's –barely opened – eyes, set aside any doubt she may have had.

Finally, Jenny pulled Emma's briefs down, taking in the bare body she hadn't seen in almost a year.

"You're so beautiful" were the words she uttered in amazement.

Emma squirmed at the words, her own desire evident "Come here" she purred.

Jenny didn't waste time and repositioned herself on top of Emma's body.

Both moaned at skin on skin contact after so long; it was like something was missing inside them until they felt their hot skin against the other. They kissed with abandon.

One of Emma's hands took a hold of Jenny's hair, while the other scratched her back.

This seemed to ignite something in the brunette, who after giving Emma a long final kiss; began a more exhaustive exploration.

Jenny didn't seem to get enough of Emma's body; she wanted to kiss and touch everywhere. She started at her neck, sucking and biting softly; hands wandering legs and sides. Then she paid attention to the pale breasts she adored so much "Oh god…" Jenny took her time caressing the roundness of them, until she couldn't resist it and squished both breasts feeling how Emma's nipples hardened at her touch; her thumbs making circles on them.

"Jenny…"

Jenny licked her lips at the sound of her name, and replaced one of her hands with her tongue. She enveloped first one nipple into her mouth and then proceeded to give the same attention to the other.

Emma bucked her hips, letting out a groan of approval.

Pleased with the effects of her teasing, Jenny descended further, this time letting her palms slide over Emma's lower front. The sensation of Emma's velvety skin moved her to lean in and rest her cheek on Emma's stomach, letting out a sigh of contentment at the contact.

The proximity to Emma's sex allowed her to feel the smell of arousal coming from the blonde. It's then that Jenny remembered those lonely nights at her house in London. When desire took her over, she would touch herself imagining Emma and how much she wished she could have her again. Those nights, she promised herself the next time she had the chance to make love to Emma she would make her come first in her mouth. Faithful to her promise, she went even lower to her final destination.

"Oh yes please" Emma begged sensing where Jenny was heading.

"Wow" Jenny gulped at the vision of Emma open and wet; ready for her, as she fantasized all those months ago. Without thinking anymore, she just bent her head down and lapped Emma's core.

The sounds of pleasure emanating from Emma's mouth were music to Jenny's ears, which motivated her to continue with eagerness. At some point she had to put her hands on Emma's legs to stop her from writhing on the bed.

It was all too much and too hot for Jenny. Hearing her name in between groans and squeaks; two hands holding her hair tightly and the flavor of the woman she loved on her tongue was driving her insane. Jenny was so turned on that she could feel her own wetness pooling between her legs; she began rubbing herself on the mattress to find some kind of release.

Emma was close; Jenny could sense it, so to accelerate the process she let her tongue do soft but firm circles around Emma's clit.

And it did the trick because five seconds later Emma was crying out her orgasm.

Jenny patiently waited for Emma to come down from her high, thinking about an old trick of hers and if it would still work; so when she thought Emma had calmed down enough; she grazed her nose over a still sensitive clit. She did it fast and hard and…

"Oh! – uh" Emma came for the second time.

A big smile adorned Jenny's face at the fact that the Emma still reacted to her ways of loving. And if everything was the same –as she suspected- at any minute Emma was going to…

"Get back here"

…pull her back on top of her.

Jenny let Emma pull her up, supporting herself with her arms on each side of Emma. They stared at each other, enjoying their reconnection.

Emma's hands flew to Jenny's face to bring her in for a kiss.

Being able to have Emma this way, to kiss her and touch her again; brought Jenny to a sense of belonging, to a time they were together and happy; brought her back home. She just let herself go and enjoy the moment.

And Jenny was so distracted, relishing in this feeling, that she didn't pay attention to where Emma had put her hands.

"Ah fuck…"

One of them was on Jenny's center already.

"Emma, wait just uh-uh…" She tried to get a hold Emma's wrist but it was too late.

The blonde just had to rub one, two, three times and Jenny was a goner.

Jenny knew she had been beyond stimulated with all that transpired between them and also the fact she didn't have sex in months was probably a big reason to cause this response but even with that it was ridiculous the time it took her to climax.

She let her body fall completely on Emma; in an attempt to gain her strength back as quick as possible. Jenny was mentally preparing for the teasing she was probably going to be victim of, since she didn't recall ever coming so fast in her life. When she thought she could hold herself up without her arms giving out she opened her eyes, but what she saw wasn't exactly what she expected.

"Wow" Emma uttered, her pupils dilated "that was so hot" With that she pushed Jenny on her back and pounced on top of her.

The next few minutes were a blur for Jenny, she was only aware of the bliss and pleasure. She was currently straddling Emma's thighs, riding two fingers and moaning like crazy while Emma devoured her breasts.

"Look at me" Emma whispered.

Jenny opened her eyes and did her best to keep them that way as she stared into hazel orbs.

"I'm here I got you" Emma emphasized her words getting a hold of Jenny's back with her free hand. "I'll never let you go, ever; I swear" She pushed her fingers deeper within Jenny with all her strength "I love you"

And it was that promise, in such an intimate moment that triggered Jenny to erupt in the strongest orgasm she had ever experienced.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

A shift in the bed was what brought Jenny back to consciousness. She squinted, adjusting her eyes to the light as everything came back to her. When it finally did, she froze.

Jenny was on her side and she felt –more than she saw- Emma right behind her. She slowly turned around; being careful not to let the sheet slip from her body.

Emma was sitting on the bed holding her legs to her chest; facing the wall in front of her, seemingly deep in thought.

Jenny gulped, not knowing how to start, she extended her hand to gain Emma's attention but decided against it; she wasn't sure if she was allowed to do that or how the reaction of her lover would be. So instead she cleared her throat and decided to voice what was on her mind.

"Emma I…I'm really sorry about this; I don't know how I let it happen, this wasn't what… I shouldn't…" She was momentarily speechless; she couldn't come up with the right words to apologize for her behavior.

Emma stayed silent, like she didn't even hear what Jenny just said.

This response – or lack of it- felt like a ton of bricks on Jenny's heart; it wasn't a good sign.

_Emma must be really mad and she has every right to be._

She concluded; so she tried again, this time expressing her feelings.

"I know I shouldn't have let it go so far; I took advantage of you in your state and I…"

"What?" Emma abruptly interjected turning her head to the side "ouch, shit!" But the sudden movement caused her already splitting headache to get worse. One of her hands flew to her forehead.

Jenny winced, knowing very well how alcohol affected her ex-girlfriend. "Um should I get you some…"

"No it's fine. I already took some ibuprofen" Emma grunted letting go of her head so she could pay attention to Jenny. "What were you talking about?"

"Oh uh…" Jenny gulped her nervousness "I was trying to apologize for last night; you know you were drunk and I…" She sighed not able to complete the sentence.

Emma rolled her eyes at the brunette "Jenny I was drunk not unconscious; I knew exactly what I was doing" She eyed Jenny and the expression on her face made her chuckle in incredulity "gosh you're acting like you raped me or something"

"Well it feels that way"

"You didn't!" Emma was beginning to lose her cool. "In any case I should be the one apologizing, I kinda initiated everything"

"Yeah but you were…"

"Argh stop it Jenny, I wanted this to happen OK?!"

The way she raised her voice along with the confession worked into silencing Jenny. She stared at Emma with a confused expression.

"I…" Emma took a deep breath before she continued "I have wanted it since the moment I saw you the other day. The alcohol only served as a courage beverage to force me to actually do it" she admitted a little uncomfortably.

"Oh" Jenny was surprised by the admission but couldn't help wondering "but just now you seemed a little off like… you regretted it"

"Jenny…" Emma turned so she could face her properly "I could never regret doing this with you; I want to make that very clear" when she received a nod from Jenny she added "It just didn't happen when it was supposed to, that's what I was thinking about"

"Do you… want to talk about it?" Jenny took the opportunity of having that needed conversation.

"Yes I do; but, not right now" Emma stood up. "I really need a shower and some coffee so how about we freshen up and meet in the kitchen?"

"OK, that sounds…" Jenny looked up and was met with a still naked Emma "g-g-great… yeah…uh" She looked away blushing.

Emma looked down at herself and smiled broadly "what? There's nothing here you haven't seen before"

"Right yeah" Jenny laughed awkwardly, still looking at anything but Emma.

A sense of pride engulfed Emma's soul. The fact that she could still produce this response in Jenny made her really happy. It only showed how much she still desired her and loved her; it was a really good thing. With that security in mind, she moved to the closet to choose her clothes for the day and to stop torturing her lover.

"So I'm gonna take a shower in the other bathroom, you can do it here. Oh! You can borrow my clothes since yours..." Emma scanned the room with her eyes "… seem to be missing?"

"Uh they are… um…" Jenny gestured with her hands to the door.

"Oh…" Emma appeared confused for a moment "OOOH!" but then she remembered "wow right um…" now she was the one blushing. She quickly changed the subject "then… I will see you in a bit" with that she disappeared from the room.

When Emma was out of sight, Jenny let a long breath escape her body as she fell back into the mattress, mentally preparing for what was about to come.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

They were not sure how much time passed but they were still sitting right in front of each other at the kitchen table sipping their coffee in silence; each of them with similar thoughts in mind.

Finally a long sigh coming from Emma, broke the tension between them.

"Why is it always like this with us?"

"Sorry, what?" Jenny asked not getting the question.

"You know like…" Emma tried to come up with the right words "everything starts the wrong way" she exhales "first when we met we both thought we were purposely sabotaging each other, then before we started dating you go and sleep with Ben and I kiss Luzi and now that we want to take our time to see if we still have a future, we end up in bed… It's always been like that since the very beginning; It's like we are the Murphy's Law impersonated" Emma groaned frustrated "that sounded ridiculous I know, but it really feels that way sometimes"

Jenny tilted her head to the side, really giving a thought to what Emma admitted. Soon she seemed to find some sort of explanation.

"I think it's all because of fear"

"Fear?"

"Yeah, I mean at the beginning we both were scared because we started having all these new feelings that we didn't know how to handle. I can say that I've never felt for anyone the way I feel for you; and I was younger then and it scared the crap out of me. Having you around made me lose control of my emotions which led me to do very stupid things and I didn't know why; now I know the reason, I was falling in love with you Emma. It's that simple" Jenny faced the blonde and when she nodded her understanding, Jenny carried on "As to why our relationship didn't work out, I guess it was just fear of life. We were together but we were thinking as individuals, not like a couple you know? Like a team. I was dueling with my parents, you were worried about your future; we were becoming adults but we didn't really do the most adult thing of all, communicate. At this point of our lives you must have figured out that sometimes love isn't enough."

Hearing all this made sense to Emma and she wanted to contribute with an assumption she came up to not so long ago.

"I think we made a big mistake by moving in together… I mean we did it too soon… without really analyzing the pros and cons or knowing each other really well" She gazed at Jenny to gauge her reaction.

Jenny seemed pensive, but didn't say anything.

"I… I believe the only reason I moved in with you was because…I didn't want you to feel alone" Emma swallowed "you know since your parents…" She didn't finish the sentence, there was no need to.

She expected Jenny to argue or maybe add her own input about the subject; instead she watched with horror, how the brunette lowered her head and began sobbing.

"Oh my God Jenny I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Emma rushed to Jenny's side and took her in her arms.

Jenny cried on Emma's shoulder for a long time. Emma was completely disturbed by what she thought she provoked. She waited patiently for Jenny to stop crying.

And she did eventually.

When Emma was sure that Jenny could respond she apologized again. "I'm sorry for what I said, I didn't mean…"

"No, no Emma there's nothing for you to be sorry about, you're right" Jenny sniffled "we were not ready, we weren't mature enough. We didn't really bother to get to know each other deep inside, what was on our minds, what we wanted…" She chuckled "I guess I should have stayed at the Bergman's and been happy to accept Stefan's lectures, the ones Ben hated so much." She shook her head as her voice trembled "I still needed someone to tell me what to do… I really wanted someone to tell me what to do" with that her tears fell again.

Emma felt her own tears begin to fall too. Just the thought of losing her parents or any of her siblings was enough for her to at least have an idea of what Jenny must have gone through.

They hugged and cried together.

"You know…" a more calmed Jenny started "all that time in London by myself, gave me the opportunity to think. To really analyze my life, my mistakes … and I thought a lot about you; about us basically." She grabbed Emma's face with both hands "and no matter how hard I tried to come up for a reason not to be with you, I couldn't. You are the love of my life Emma. You are the first person I've ever fallen in love with , you are the first I made love with; with us it's never about sex, but love, even in the most unexpected circumstances" She smiled shyly.

A small smirk made its appearance on Emma's lips.

"I want to be with you, I want to grow with you. It's not gonna be heaven, I know we're still gonna fight and have problems like everybody else; but I want to face all those situations with you. This is not because I'm alone, but because I can't imagine my life with anyone else but you. I can't promise you perfection but I can promise you I'll be by your side; and I'll talk and I'll listen. I love you. Please tell me you want to try again with me"

It was like a dream to hear those words coming from Jenny's lips; it was all Emma fantasized about all those months apart. Even while dating Marion or hanging out with Laura the hope of getting back with Jenny was always there. She tried to resist it many times; she got to block it at certain moments; but it was just useless, her heart was not mistaken, there and then she was sure about it.

"Yes" Emma's voice quivered "I would love nothing more than to start again with you… I love you"

And once again, the big dimpled smile that drove Emma crazy, appeared like a magic vision.

They pecked their lips grinning at each other.

"We have to go slow this time" Emma stated after a minute.

"I agree. Once I fix a couple things in England, I'll ask Ben if I can stay with him and Bea; you know, to give you some space" Jenny offered.

"We can have dates" Emma suggested.

"Oh we'll definitely have dates" Jenny wiggled her eyebrows.

Emma giggled then and added in a more serious tone "you promise me no more surprise expensive gifts?" She lifted a brow.

Jenny cringed with embarrassment "yeah, sorry. I promise no more of those without telling you first. But…" she took Emma's chin. "You promise me not to reject my help, when there's a good reason for it and you really, really need it"

The blush on Emma's cheeks told her she felt bad for doing so in the past.

"I promise"

"Good"

With that settled Emma moved to another topic; one that had her feeling guilty.

"Jenny…"

"Yeah baby what's up?"

"I…I'm sorry for… trying to forget you by…" she gulped "being with other girls." Emma lowered her head.

Jenny made a conscious effort not to let her jaw clench with jealousy. She cleared her throat and answered instead. "You don't have to apologize for that. Those were experiences you needed to have; God knows I had my own in the past. And that is what makes you the woman you are now. I don't like it, but it's the way it is. We learn from experience and move on; we are together now we should just focus on that."

"OK" Emma replied still hesitant. After a while she couldn't resist asking.

"So… are we good?" She bit her lip.

Jenny sighed but smiled nonetheless. Sometimes she forgot how insecure Emma could be.

_Some things never change _

Deciding that there was nothing bad in Emma's statement, just Emma being Emma (and remembering that was one of the many reasons she fell in love with her in the first place), she responded as reassuringly as she could.

"Yes, we are good, and we're gonna keep it that way. We'll make sure of it"

They leaned their foreheads together and held hands in silence, just basking in their –never lost-love.


End file.
